The lonely island - Like a boss

- Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review
No problem
- So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely, I'm the boss
- Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the boss
Well the first thing I do is...

Talk to to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct workflow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micromanage (like a boss)
Promote Synergy (like a boss)
Hit on Debra (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Harrassment lawsuit (like a boss)
No promotion (like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (like a boss)
Shit on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh fuck man I can't fucking do it... shit!
Pussy out (like a boss)
Puke on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the window (like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)
Crash my car (like a boss)
Suck my own dick (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)
Chop my balls off (like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
Fuck its brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)

- Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then?
No doubt
- You chop your balls off and die?
Hell yeah
- And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick
(Haa) Nope!
- Actually I'm pretty sure you did
Nah, that ain't me
- Okay, well this has been eye opening for me
I'm the boss
- Yeah, I know, I got that. You said that four-hundred times
I'm the boss
- Yeah, yeah I got it!
I'm the boss
- Okay, great, I heard you, bye!
LIKE A BOSS!